Humor

Download E-books 1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader PDF

By Cary McNeal

Fact: Chocolate comprises the alkaloid theobromine, which in excessive doses should be poisonous to people, and in even small quantities can kill canines, parrots, horses, and cats.
This signifies that regardless of its identify, the Kit-Kat sweet bar isn't really a steered snack on your kitty-cat. i ponder what number cats have died due to this confusion.

Fact: the main germ-laden position in your rest room is not the seat or maybe the bowl--it's the handle.
The answer: do not flush. enable the subsequent man fear approximately it.

There are "just the facts"--and then there are only the evidence that may frighten the bejeezus out of you. and due to this little gem a WC booklet, you are going to by no means examine the realm an identical method back, with no, er, dry heaving a bit bit.

From the sneaky fish that could swim up our genitals to the E. coli micro organism lurking within the very water we drink, hectic phenomena are in all places we flip. academic, exciting, and undeniably scary, this booklet is not bound to assist you, um, visit the lavatory, yet it really is sure to make some time there more...informed.

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Download E-books Gangsta Granny PDF

By David Walliams

A hilarious and relocating tale of previous age, experience, stolen jewels and swimming the Thames, from David Walliams, no 1 bestseller and quickest growing to be children's writer within the kingdom.
"I completely love David Walliams's books. In a number of extra years they're going to develop into classics." – Sue Townsend, writer of Adrian Mole
Our hero Ben is bored past trust after he's made to stick at his grandma's condominium. She's the boringest grandma ever: all she desires to do is to play Scrabble, and devour cabbage soup. yet there are issues Ben doesn't find out about his grandma. 1) She was a world jewel thief. 2) All her lifestyles, she has been plotting to thieve the Crown Jewels, and now she wishes Ben's help…

About the Author-

Matt Lucas and David Walliams met in 1990 on the nationwide early life Theatre and have been introduced jointly by way of their shared love of Reeves and Mortimer. they've got either starred in a variety of television and degree productions. Matt and David have written 3 bestselling sequence of Little Britain, and raised million kilos for comedian aid with a restricted variation DVD. lately they played a list breaking run in their stay express on the Hammersmith Apollo and feature played to over 650,000 humans within the UK.

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Download E-books Straight Man: A Novel PDF

By Richard Russo

During this uproarious new novel, Richard Russo plays his attribute high-wire stroll among hilarity and heartbreak.  Russo's protagonist is William Henry Devereaux, Jr., the reluctant chairman of the English division of a badly underfunded university within the Pennsylvania rust belt.  Devereaux's reluctance is in part rooted in his character--he is a born anarchist-- and in part within the incontrovertible fact that his division is extra savagely divided than the Balkans.  

In the process a unmarried week, Devereaux can have his nostril mangled through an offended colleague, think his spouse is having an affair together with his dean, ponder whether a curvaceous adjunct is attempting to seduce him with peach pits, and threaten to execute a goose on neighborhood television.  All this whereas coming to phrases together with his philandering father, the dereliction of his younger promise, and the ominous failure of definite very important physique functions.  in brief, Straight Man is vintage Russo--side-splitting and true-to-life, witty, compassionate, and very unlikely to place down.

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Download E-books Possible Side Effects PDF

By Augusten Burroughs

National Bestseller

From the number 1 New York Times bestselling writer of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs's so much provocative selection of actual tales but. From nicotine gum dependancy to lesbian own advertisements to incontinent canines, Possible part Effects mines Burroughs's existence in a chain of uproariously humorous essays. those are tales which are uniquely Augusten, with all of the over-the-top hilarity of Running with Scissors, the erudition of Dry, and the breadth of Magical Thinking. a suite that's common in its allure and unabashedly intimate, Possible unintended effects continues to discover that that is so much own, mirthful, demanding, and adored, with unrivaled audacity. A cautionary story in essay shape. Be forewarned--hilarious, troubling, and surprising effects may occur.

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Download E-books Arrest-Proof Yourself: An Ex-Cop Reveals How Easy It Is for Anyone to Get Arrested, How Even a Single Arrest Could Ruin Your Life, and What to Do If the Police Get in Your Face PDF

By Dale C. Carson, Wes Denham

This crucial “how now not to” consultant explains tips to act and what to claim within the presence of police to reduce the possibilities of being arrested and to prevent add-on charges—which can frequently bring about everlasting disqualification from jobs, financing, and schooling. electorate can tips on how to keep away from arrest either in the street and while pulled over in a car and are alerted to simple tips police officers use to get humans to incriminate themselves. Sprinkled with absurdity and humor, this pressing, eye-opening booklet is a advisor to legal justice for all americans.

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Download E-books The Johnny Maxwell Trilogy (Johnny Maxwell, Books 1-3) PDF

By Terry Pratchett

The Johnny Maxwell trilogy

ONLY it can save you MANKIND whats up, If no longer you, who else? yet what can twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell do while he's ready to blow the extraterrestrial beings in his desktop online game into the standard million items - they usually give up? They're now not imagined to do this! They're imagined to die. And it's just a video game, isn't it. Isn't it?

JOHNNY AND THE lifeless Johnny's obtained undesirable information for the lifeless in his neighborhood cemetery: the council are looking to promote the land as a construction web site. good, the lifeless aren't going to take that mendacity down. They're starting to locate that existence is lots extra enjoyable than it was once once they were...well...alive. And it's Halloween tomorrow...

JOHNNY AND THE BOMB Mrs Tachyon is simply a nutty outdated bag woman, isn't she? No. by some means, together with her bunch of doubtful black baggage, she holds the foremost to diverse occasions, diverse eras - together with the Blitz in 1941. all at once now isn't the secure position Johnny suggestion it used to be as he reveals himself sure up a growing number of with then...

Three remarkable stories from the grasp of comedian delusion, Terry Pratchett, writer of the bestselling Bromeliad trilogy and the highly winning Discworld sequence.

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Download E-books Delia's Dull Day: An Incredibly Boring Story PDF

By Andy Myer

Negative Delia, not anything ever occurs to her. Her existence is so boring, boring, boring. yet maybe if Delia determined to appear up or flip round, she'd see... the elephants marching via her house... the pirate sitting in the back of her at the institution bus... or perhaps the submarine that rises to the outside correct after she leaves the pool! If Delia ever paid awareness, she'd discover her lifestyles is sort of fascinating finally! Artist Andy Myer brings to hilarious lifestyles the studies and probabilities that the realm may well provide every one people if we might merely beware.

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Download E-books Sick Notes: True Stories from the GP's Surgery PDF

EVER questioned what your healthcare professional relatively thinks approximately you? Or why you can’t get an appointment? Or what that humorous humming noise on your ear is?

Sick Notes – the real-life tale of existence in a doctor’s surgical procedure – may also help with a few solutions…

'We desired to thanks for all you probably did for mum over the past 14 years,' acknowledged Mrs Cobham.

Excitedly, I peered into the plastic bag. within was once one small loaf of sliced bread.

'Er...' I stammered. 'Well, that is lovely.'

She nodded and smiled. 'It was once the least shall we do, doctor,' she said.

Welcome to the weird international of Tony Copperfield, relatives doctor.

He spends his days heading off frightened mums, aged intercourse maniacs and hopeless hypochondriacs.

The remainder of his time is taken up sparring with colleagues, combating bureaucrats and banging his head opposed to the brick wall of the NHS.

If you have ever questioned what your GP is admittedly considering - and what is happening behind the curtain at your surgical procedure - unwell NOTES is for you.

'A fabulous e-book, humorous and insightful in equivalent measure.' Dr Phil Hammond (Private Eye’s ‘MD’).

'Copperfield is just remarkable, unbelievably humorous and improbably wise... every thing he writes is more true than fact.' British scientific Journal.

'Original, humorous and an immense read.' The Sun

'A mixture of the hilarious, the mundane and the poignant. Dr Copperfield finds what is going on at the back of these surgical procedure doors.' The day-by-day Mail

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